What Belonging To First Mothers Reunited Has Meant To Me:
Welcome to FMR--have found the right
place--almost like coming home where we truly understand.What you are
going through is typical of what we have all been through--the normal post
reunion trauma--all that trapped trauma that rises from the soul of you for
--we know your pain and we know your turbulence
and we are all here to help you circumnavigate through it.
--we were all "new" once--felt like we
were standing at a door looking in--everyone was inside talking and laughing
and crying and discussing and we felt alone...
--we had been so alone with the
"adoption" issue for 30 years plus and here were all these gals
talking so openly about it. --we slowly walked into the room and as we
revealed parts of ourselves that had been hidden for so many years--some parts
we did not even know we had--the FMR sisters were there to guide us--as time
moved we were then in the center of the room revealing ALL to everyone (which I
never thought I would)--the guard was down--heck it had been thrown out the
window and a new way of dealing with life was revealed because for me I then
realized that the adoption of my daughter had profoundly changed me at the core
of my being and from the moment of relinquishment all the choices I made and
didn't make were from that experience--I was truly damaged.
Now that reunion has happened and the
"secrets" are freed and the truth revealed I operate from
a whole different place. The damage is never healed but
the way we operate in this world is - -as is said...The truth shall set
you free --------------- all those fibs and lies
created to hide what really went on all those years ago.
Please know we are here--it
is a great place. I've been here since 2002 and have come and gone (I
call them sabbaticals) but I will never leave FMR !!!!
am certain that you will find comfort and wisdom and humor and loving
support and understanding here that is unparalleled in the "outside
Maureen - Wisconsin
am so grateful to this group of wonderful women whose wisdom, support
and love; has inspired me, and helped me greatly to understand my
reunion, and given me great insights on how to deal with, communicate
with, respond and interact with my son.
Marion - New Zealand
I am very grateful for this listing and for all you ladies for sharing your lives and caring about the rest of us.
I would not have made it this far without each and every one of you all!
Love, Mony - Texas
I have been a member of this group from its inception. You will not find a more compassionate and understanding group of ladies than this one. We have all relinquished our children for one reason or another and have walked in the shoes of the first mother. We all have different stories to tell but have the common bond of relinquishment and reunion. If one is having a bad day they know they can come to the group for support and consolation. If one is joyous because something wonderful happened, they too can come to the group and rejoice with each other because we understand the importance of each accomplishment.
Love, Linda - Georgia
I just have to say...I found FMR a few months after "her" birth...in June and I have the utmost gratitude for this cyber-safeplace. I've said it before...I have found the best support here, better than any therapist had the knowledge to help me with. So...I just wanted to say Thank Goodness for FMR, and the wonderful women who keep this place warm and welcoming. Love, Shelley - Ontario, Canada
The support and care I received here, especially during the first year when I was a wreck, have made a huge difference in my ability to cope with meeting my son after 32 years. I could find nobody and nothing locally to turn to for help. My friends had no understanding at all. I was frightened to even join anything on the internet because I had heard such dire cautions about what could happen. Well, this group proved to me that an internet group can be invaluable. I cannot thank all of you and the group organizers enough. Firstmothers are the BEST. Love, Glory - Wisconsin
...we are here
at FMR for the support in good times and bad. Yes, we want to hear everyone's good
times AND bad times. NO, we aren't here to sugarcoat our thoughts and feelings...some
reunions work, some don't. There is no way to predict whose will and whose won't. If you have
a good reunion, yes be glad, you are lucky, and you may have put a lot of YOU
into it, but remember another member of FMR may have put a lot of themselves into
there reunion and gotten zippo, zilch. I don't think for one minute they are
standing in the rain, wondering why they are getting wet.
I've beaten my head against the wall on
many occasions in this lovely world called reunion. My head may be bruised and dented, but happy now, because the head beating
seemed to have worked out for me. Or maybe I beat myself silly and just don't